The Silence of Saltine
by Shenlong no Miko
Summary: Enter the G-boys... and Heero's fish


1 The Silence of Saltine  
  
Duo: The stillness was like that after a really great routine performed by incredibly skilled male cheerleaders; right before the applause starts.  
  
Heather: Not really, Duo. Besides, I don't think you qualify as a very good judge of silence.  
  
Joanna: Good point, Heater.  
  
Heather: I know, and there's more where that came from.  
  
Duo: I'll have to ask Trowa about that one… Wait! What do you mean I don't "qualify as a very good judge of silence"?!  
  
Heather: Well…have you ever listened to yourself?!  
  
Duo: I'll have you know, I won first place at the 23rd annual "Judging of Silence" contest! So there! Up for a game of Bridge Heero?"  
  
Heero: Sorry, I have plans.  
  
Heather: I thought you were taking a break form saving the world.  
  
Heero: I am. I have to clean the fishtank.  
  
Joanna: You have a fish, Sweetie?  
  
Quatre: Not anymore. Duo ate him.  
  
Duo: *mumbles* Thanks, Quatre.  
  
Quarter: Anytime!  
  
Heero: Whoa! Back the Titanic up! You ate MY fish?!  
  
Duo: It was only a goldfish cracker, Spandex Boy!!  
  
Wufei: You're one to talk!! What kind of hero watches male cheerleading?!  
  
Duo: I am a hero…ine.  
  
Heather: You insult the female race!  
  
Wufei: Uno momento Toots! You're a hero's bitch!  
  
Heather: Oh yeah! Then what does that make Ash?!  
  
Trowa: Wufei, don't speak to Heather in that tone of voice!  
  
Wufei: What are you gonna do about it Rubber Nose?! Decapitate me with your hair?! Or will it be Death by Green Beans?!  
  
Trowa: My sock puppet, if you must know!  
  
Duo: Them's fightin' words! You gonna take that, Wufei?!  
  
Wufei: *shaking head* Duo…  
  
Duo: Yes, JellyBean?!  
  
Heero: Duo, how could you eat my fish?! He meant a lot to me! Saltine was my best friend.  
  
Joanna: You named your fish Saltine?!  
  
Heero: Duh!! Saltine the Cracker Fish. My creativity was limited. I was trying to play Donkey Kong at the same time.  
  
Duo: Trying?!  
  
Heero: CAN IT, BRAID BOY!!!  
  
Quatre: So you see, Duo, at least Heero has an explanation!  
  
Duo: Always on my side, aren't you Quatre?  
  
Quatre: Behind you 132%! You fall down, I'm the one who picks you up. After laughing about it, of course.  
  
Joanna: All I can see is a bunch of people who won't let me finish my letter to Ash.  
  
Heather: Why didn't you tell us you were writing Ash?  
  
Joanna: Because, Heather, you guys say the darndest things! It's like a Kodak moment 24/7! Who am I to spoil the moments by forcing you guys to censor your wordage? Not to mention the fact that Ash never believes me when I try to convince her that Wufei is having an affair with his jelly beans on the side!  
  
Wufei: Good point, Joanna!  
  
Joanna: I know, and there's more where that came from!  
  
Duo: I'll have to ask Heero about that one.  
  
Heero: *near tears* What about Saltine? Doesn't anybody care about my dear, departed fish?  
  
Wufei: It was just a cracker Hero! Suck it up, and move on! There are other fish in the sea, other crackers in the box!  
  
Heero: Shut your cake hole, JellyBean!  
  
Duo: Hey! That's MY nickname for him!  
  
Trowa: Heero, if it'll make you feel better, I'll get you a whole box of crackers for Christmas.  
  
Heero: *brightens* You would do that for me?!  
  
Trowa: Yeah…I guess. Just keep them out of reach of the Duo!  
  
Duo: Oh! Go to Australia Rubber Nose!  
  
Trowa: "Rubber Nose" me again, and I'll pop you a good one, Braid Boy!  
  
Heather: Guys! Stop it!  
  
Joanna: You are acting like children…with P.M.S!  
  
Duo: How dare you accuse the God of Death of having P.M.S! My time of the month isn't for another two weeks!  
  
Wufei: Ugh! Shove it, Duo!  
  
Duo: You pick the time, and the place, and I can shove anything you want Dragon Boy!  
  
Joanna: What would Ash say?  
  
Heather: Probably nothing. She would simply slaughter Duo.  
  
*All fall silent, Duo and Wufei glare at each other*  
  
Joanna: Shall we depart Heather?  
  
Heather: Right behind ya, Jo!  
  
*Fighting starts again as soon as the door slams behind them* 


End file.
